We are creating ourselves, and our world, as we go. Every little move we make, each decision and perception we land on, makes a difference in how things unfold. ~ Kathy Freston, Quantum wellness.
I've come to a new level of understanding about myself recently, and am taking a quantum leap or two this week. I've had many a morning grumble over how unhappy I am that I spend my days off trying to muster up the effort to "catch up" on the dishes, and the laundry, and the other messes my family, and myself have made the previous day or weekend.
The reality is that I made a choice. I'm living with the consequences of that choice. I chose to swim, read, blog, and watch a movie from 7:30pm-1:30am. Because of that choice I am not able to enjoy a lounging day off. That's all on me.
It's so easy to want to blame your partner/spouse/children for these things. It would be nice if everyone chipped in and made an effort to maintain our space. I knew I wanted a relaxing day off, and I have 15 reports to work on that are due at midnight so I knew that if there was any hope of us doing anything it would have to be in the morning and aternoon. I could have done these chores last night and enjoyed myself today, but I chose otherwise.
I have to change the way I think about our household. It seems, to me, that I am the only person who desires to live in a peaceful, blissful, decluttered home. If that is what I want then I am ultimately responsible for making that happen.
Don't get me wrong. These kids have their fair share of chores to do, and it's not as if I let them completely take advantage of me...it would be nice (pipe dream here) if they took more initiative without me having to ask, kick, scream, and whine about the things that need to be done.
I have to stop depending on others to make me happy. I need to start finding happiness within myself. Only I know what my hearts desire is. I have to work harder at making me happy, and worry less about others.
It's time for me to move forward. It's time to take that small leap and do the things that I want to do, even if others may not be on board.
I really want to live a completely different life than the one I am living. The life I am living, it's not for me. I've been working on me for a long time now, and I've been at a standstill for too long. Time to get back to it, and let the pieces fall where they may.
Thanks to Shell for hosting Pour Your Heart out over at Things I can't say. I'm hoping this blog carnival helps me to open up to the deeper stuff...at least once a week.
Well said. No one can make us happy. Only we can make the choice to make ourselves happy.
ReplyDeleteThis is something I came to a realization of a couple years ago, yet I still struggle with it each day. I know I am a calmer, happier mom when I am in a clean, clutter free home, but it is so hard to make this a priority when it seems that no one else shares this priority. Good luck!