I've always thought of myself as a "Suffer in silence" sort of gal. I tend to hold my pain in. I don't do this in order to appear strong and mighty. I do this because externalizing the pain gives the pain power. I have no interest in giving power to the beast so I do my best to hold it all in.
It has been brought to my attention that perhaps this practice is giving the impression that I am stronger than I really am. I don't know what to do with that. All I know is that I am aching on the inside right now and I have very little patience and care for these things right now.
I'm just going to sit with this pain for a few more days or however long it takes to get past the hump.
I know it's not much of a post...but progress is progress, right?
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I'm one who believes in letting things out. Doesn't mean it takes control and it doesn't mean you lose control. Doesn't mean you're trying to hurt someone else. But when someone is hurting- the only way to heal is to let it go. Holding it in... doesn't make you stronger. Holding it in weakens the foundational core.
ReplyDeleteI also think there is a difference between holding it in and letting it go and pouring it out on others. Internalizing it just eats away at you and you are alone in that suffering by your own choosing. Letting it go means dealing with it and being done with it. Pouring it out means taking it out inappropriately on those around you.
One of those sounds like a better choice than the others...