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Tuesday, January 4, 2011


I made it through day 4. I'm starting to have concerns about the psychology of this beast. I have the cravings pretty well under control. I am surrounded by these feelings of sadness and depression. I feel alone, isolated, and lost.

I'm hoping this passes soon. I feel like I lost my support group. It's the wierdest feeling. It almost feels like I am in the hospital, and I am trapped, and I have to remind myself that there is no end to this contest.

I've challenged myself a lot in life...that it's become my brains natural process of thinking. If you can get A-B-C done you can have X-Y-Z. Well...my brain is thinking that eventually, after I make through this I can smoke again...and of course that is not the goal here.

Things to work on, for sure! For now I am taking it an hour at a time because these menstral cramps...they feel a lot like the days following my C-section and I am having a very hard time just walking the past 24 hours.

Much light, and love <3


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