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Saturday, May 29, 2010

They are their mothers child

For the past 9 years I have watched my 13, 11, & 8 y/o work their way through grade school. I've been so proud of their achievements. I marvel at their ability to achieve so much. Academically, and socially my daughter is a much different young lady than I were at her age.

I have had my share of mommy guilt for not being able to be that cool mom that can take her child and her child's friends to concerts, museum trips, and out of town for the weekend. While her childhood has certainly been more social than I could have ever hoped mine would have been, I have at times felt like I wish I could do more for my daughter.  She is much more social than her older brother.

A friend recently said something to me that really made me think about things in a different light.

I realize today how lucky I am. My daughter has many friends, and they love her for her. They aren't her friend because she gives them nice gifts, or takes them to cool places. They love her because she is a good friend. She is kind, and empathetic, and has more compassion than I did in one finger at her age.

What I didn't really allow myself to believe is that she is this way because of me. She goes out of her way to include a left out child because she hurts to see him/her sitting at the sidelines while the cool kids play. She shares with the child who cannot afford something she has in abundance. She wants for her friends much like a mother wants for her own child.

I don't give myself enough credit for the way I am raising these kids. I don't give them enough credit for being the amazing spirits they are. I spend too much time worrying about what I cannot give them instead of enjoying what is within our means, and their true needs.

I'm lucky, because at the end of the day my kids know how to do for themselves. I don't have to push them to be the highest seller, to be in the advanced classes, to be the most popular. They do it well enough on their own. They don't need me to hold their hand all the time, or do for them. They are very capable, and they seem to have a great balance of friends, academics, and community involvement all on their own.

From now on I am going to work harder at enjoying watching them accomplish great things, and worry less about helping them to have more...because I know in my heart they already have everything they need.

1 comment:

  1. Exactly, spot on right. And something we all need to remind each other of on a regular basis, I think.