School pictures

As a mother, I think I will always cringe at the thought of the annual yearbook photos. My mother was not the best teacher when it came to styling hair, or make-up application 101. That's being nice. I love my mother dearly, don't get me wrong, but my blue jean and flannel wearing hippy momma did not put a lot of time into her look.

This resulted in a young girl experimenting with hair and make-up on her own. We didn't have YouTube videos back then, or even the Internet to learn such things. We were too poor for magazines so I scoured magazines at the local library and did my best to mimic the looks I'd see. I was NOT, as it turns out, born to be a make-up artist.

This resulted in some very clown-like school photos. I remember the day I brought home 6th grade school pictures. My father promptly tossed them into the wood burning stove and I watched my clown face curl up and fry. I had thought it was a good idea to wear blue and white eyeshadow, because our school colors were blue and white. It turns out that was not a good idea.

So here I am. My daughter just entered the 6th grade. I am always worried that I will do her make-up and it will look good to me, and when the pictures come back she will look more like a lady of the night. Yikes!

It's amazing how much our childhood memories stick with us as adults. It is the main reason I react, as a parent, in the manner in which I do. I'm more cautious about how I respond to my children, and react to their unsavory behaviors. I remember watching my school pictures go up in flames, and I felt like a complete failure, and unworthy of my fathers love and affection. It's funny how that memory stuck with me, and how the little things like that affected my self esteem more than the physical abuse that my brother and I endured.

So this morning as I did Nadine's hair and watched the pre-teen morning scowl on her face, as if she disgusted me for screwing up her hair...again, I remained calm, started over and kept at it until her frown turned right side up. Usually I would do it and if she didn't like it I would walk out of the bathroom and tell her she was free to change it if she'd like to.

When she asked if she may wear make-up in this years school picture I cringed. It was as if she had punched me in the stomach. I didn't want to do it. I didnt want to watch her do it. Her BFFs have been wearing make-up since 5th grade, and while my daughter doesn't desire to wear it everyday, I do feel like this age feels appropriate for a starter course.

I didn't dare take a photo of my end results. We'll wait until the photos arrive and hope that her beautiful smile distracts from any hair & make-up flaws I may or may not have given her this morning. Wish me luck!

I will say this. It felt REALLY great for her to wake me up in the wee hours of 5 something to help her. It's nice to feel wanted & needed, especially during these trying, hormonal pre-teen years. *sigh*

Just for fun, here's a few school pictures of my beautiful daughter and my 2 oldest handsome boys from last year. Enjoy, and happy picture day!

7th grade-Andrew

5th grade-Nadine

2nd grade-Dane