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Sunday, March 13, 2011

So nice to meet you!

I have been tossing this subject around in my head like a hacky sack for months now. I've spoken to a few friends about this and have been trying to figure out how to express my thoughts on this subject in a manner in which it would be well received.

This is why I am never consistent in my blogging. I'm too nerdy. I mean wordy. Whatever.

So...I am going to just put this out there. It may be rambly. It may not make much sense. I never claimed to be a language arts major so my apologies in advance.

This is another reason why I am never consistent with my blogging. I over analyze everything. If people would quit grading my papers and just give me a damn A- I would do so much better. I just know it.

Here goes. I belong to a group of moms whom I have met online on a local social network site for moms. I like this group. It is full of interesting, like minded free spirits. I've learned a lot about myself, and life from the members of this group. It is definitely a testament to the benefits of having a social life online.

What I have in common with this group of women...it's simply too many things to post. The biggest things that come to mind is that we are all moms, and are either living our lives without religion, or are open to and accepting of others who choose that path for themselves and their family. Some of us are atheist, some agnostic. Some are Secular humanist. We even have a few religious moms who are loving enough to not attempt to indoctrinate us as we partake in our monthly MNO (Moms night Out).

I fall somewhere in the middle...which is where I usually sit in life. I am not atheist. I am spiritual but not religious at this point in my journey. I am not so unbelievably naive as to assume that I may not one day wake up and find my path has changed. I am basically a spiritual mutt who uses the label "Secular Humanist" whenever someone insists on labeling me.

Oh my...I am off track here. Sorry about that. If that drives yo crazy...you are following the wrong blog. I am terrible about that...I'm all over the place.

So...sometimes a new mom wants to join our group. Sometimes one or more of us know this mom from another group and can vouch for her ability to join us without trying to interrupt our sacrificial goat rituals. Other times it is someone that no one seems to know, or that someone doesn't like.

Some members get leery. Understandably so. The nature of our group is a sensitive one. We live in the bible belt and lets face it...even in the 21st century there are still a lot of closed minds out there. So...you can understand why some members would be hesitant to let a noob into the group.

Months ago we had a mom who wanted to join us. Some members didn't think she fit well with our group. I was one who sat on the fence and saw no harm in giving her a chance...while I agreed that it may not work out...I felt it was worth being open to the idea.

A few members preferred that she not join. I did not love this reaction. I don't like people making decisions for me, or decisions that directly affect me or my family without having some say in the matter. I am, after all, a voting kind of girl. I'm a free thinker...and I'd like to keep it that way.

Anyway...the mom did not get to join our group. I suppose in the end she did not want to deal with causing any friction between the standing members and she just sort of bowed out.

I was saddened by this because while that mom may not have had much to offer me in the way of friendship or education...that doesn't mean that there wasn't some way that I may have been able to serve her. That doesn't mean that one of the other women in the group wouldn't have benefited from getting to know her.

I digress...my vat simply isn't big enough to fry all of the fish in life, right?

Now we are getting to the meat of this subject...finally!

I recently met a mom that I have known online but had not had the pleasure of meeting in real life. She has always seemed like a nice person. Nothing really stood out about her. She came acrossed as a good mom, a loyal wife, and a nice friend to those closest to her. She is friends with another group of moms where I do not fit in well. Because of that she and I haven't really been in the same circle before. just by happenstance we ended up meeting and to my surprise she and I hit it off really well. We have some common interest. We have similar parenting styles. Her child and mine are very close in age and have similar personalities.

My point is that after all of these years of her not having any interest in meeting me because perhaps some people in her group do not care much for me...we both missed out. It's too bad that we couldn't have met sooner. I'm just happy that we finally did and without either of us even putting effort into it. I love when things fall into place like that.

So...the next time you find yourself rejecting the idea of including someone in your group/circle/church/club...think about the others in that organization and how you may be robbing them of the chance to get to know someone that they may really benefit from developing a relationship with.

I often tell my children that it is a small world, and it does not revolve around you.

Give each other a chance to make a difference in someone else's life, and to allow someone else to make a difference in their life too. Share your friends and loved ones. Let them grow! More importantly-Give yourself a chance to connect with someone you never imagined you would or could. You might just be surprised by what you can offer them and they you.


  1. I won't lie. I hope more see this, took me forever scrolling down your FB page LOL