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Sunday, March 20, 2011

Giving Your Whole Heart

It takes a lot of work for most people, to give of your whole heart. I understand that many people just aren’t wired that way. I get that. It's one of the things I love most about myself...the ability to feel the pull on my heartstrings. I feel a call to do something great, no matter how small.

I think most people know I wear my heart on my sleeve. It's oftentimes a painful way to live, day to day, but it's the only way I know to live. It makes my heart more accessible, which isn't always a good thing. It leaves me open to painful experiences, but with the pain I grow, so I suppose that’s not a bad thing.

Sometimes people think of me as strong and independent, and while I may be both of those I am also so much more. I am flawed. I am weak. I am uncertain and at times I can be unkind. I am human.

I don’t always get a person’s intentions. Sometimes I mistake them. Sometimes I just don’t believe them. Sometimes I think I am just paranoid.

I have some really great friends who have grown to love me and accept me for who I am. I am trying to learn how to do the same from them. I have a hard time accepting people for who they are. I see them for their potential and I want to help them achieve their highest heights. I can see their ability to be more, to do more, to have more…whatever. What I don’t always see is that…maybe they just don’t want more. Maybe they are content with where they are in life. I need to learn how to love them for who they are and accept that they may not desire to be their best self right now.

Here’s the thing. If you know me. If you REALLY know me. You will know that no matter how annoying I am. No matter how mean I can be. I have the very best intentions. It may not come out right the first time, but I will get it right…eventually…for the person that gives me a chance.

Those that know me know that I need reassurance every once in a while. I like having my hand held sometimes. Actions speak louder than words. Sometimes I just need to know that you are there. I need to know that I can trust you. I need to know that you intentions are honorable. I need to know that you will do right by our relationship and that you will help to nurture it and keep it growing. I need to know that you value it as much a I do.

If you cannot do those simple little things that keep things afloat when I am down…I think we are wasting our time.

I’m a fairly simple girl. I don’t ask for much. I don’t think it unrealistic to expect some sort of reciprocation in life, especially when you know that the person you are relating to is uncertain.

If your friend needs a hug to know that everything will be okay, or a late night phone call to ensure that you got home safely I would think that you would want to make the effort to do such a simple thing to reassure your friend.

Living life with your whole heart can be painful, but with that pain comes a lot of love and growth. If you let people into your heart amazing things can and will happen.

1 comment:

  1. Thanks Nancy. Your virtual hugs mean a lot to me :)