Happy St. Patrick's day! I'm sure there are a dozen of cute stories I could post about leprechauns and green beer outings for today but...I'm just not feeling that festive. I've been trying to think all day about something green to post about. Green foods? lame. Where to pinch? ummm..no.
Let us talk about how mothers, and women in general, tend to envy others and how we can have a very unrealistic expectations for life, in general.
I recall having a friend who seemed to have a great marriage. I had such envy for her life. She was seemingly all that and the bag. Pretty, great relationship with her husband, adorable family, great parenting skills...the works. I strived to be a little more like her as a wife. Later I found out that while was striving for the excellence that she was putting out there...it was mostly a sham. She had been experiencing nearly the exact same marital issue that I was experiencing all along! I was trying to be something that didn't even exist.
All that time she wasted pretending to be happy she could have been honest and had a friend to support her and have compassion for her frustrations in daily life. Instead she choose to live a lie and in the process leave others with the feeling that they were less of a wife, mom, and friend because they weren't as good at this as she.
I hear friends from time to time make generic comments to me like "I don't know how you do it all. I am amazed at how much you accomplish. Wow, you're like a supermom." and I almost always am quick to reply saying Noooooooo! I don't "Do it all" I just do most of it, and all of what I do is half assed! I mean...seriously...I may "clean" the whole house...but that doesn't mean it is CLEAN! That just means you can walk through the main rooms without something sticky grabbing onto your socked foot!
I don't want to give people an unrealistic ideal of what kind of person, mom, wife, friend, etc. that I am. I am just as flawed as the persons on either side of me and I intend to stay that way because baby, perfection simply does not exist! That size 3 mom...her boobs totally have stretch marks.
My point is...don't waste your time and energy trying to be someone else. Just be who you are! If that is a mom who takes her kids to experience great things in daily life but has a messy home-so be it! If you are the mom who needs her kids to grow up in a spotless home and cannot imagine being that mom who doesn't clean for days on end-then don't do it!
Don't envy other people. Just be yourself and most importantly-be happy with who you are! You can always make improvements, but make them your improvements and not a mirror image of somebody else!
I'm getting off of blogger to finish my work reports. I want to go out for the Angel Burlesque show tonight and drink green beer...without being green with envy!
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AMEN!
ReplyDeleteThere are times I strive to be better- but not because I want to be like someone else. I might see someone else doing it the way I want to do it- but I just use them as an example. And usually it's someone who is a friend and I can ask them to help me. That's the cool thing about true friendship- if I have something you want or need, just ask and we can work it out.
Exactly. Big difference between being INSPIRED by a friend and having such ENVY for one! lol.
ReplyDeleteJust like you inspire me to run. Some people may think I just want to be like Liz. Actually...I was once a runner and just want to be one again and Liz helps inspire me in that goal of mine.
Seems like such a simple concept, but we pesky humans tend to miss the simplicity of life sometimes. :)
I want to be just like you and Liz when I grow up! ;)
ReplyDeleteI agree with you both. My word for the year is "better". I want to be a better Nancy, not better than anyone else1 And you both inspire me!