I will start with my warning. Most of you will likely want to smack me as you read this. I know that I am crazy for not enjoying the routine that my family currently has. Please know that I get it. The grass is always greener. If I had it my way I'd surely want yours, right?
Most mornings I sleep in. I have sleep issues and I am up all hours of the night and what sleep I do get is broken and not very quality sleep. My husband gets up and plays the morning Mommy. He does chores, cooks breakfast for the kids, and enables me to lay in bed and be lazy or depressed. I hate it.
I pulled an all nighter last night. I simply couldn't sleep. I swear I must be suffering from RLS or some similar disorder. Sitting still is like a child with severe ADHD for me right now. My brain is exhausted...but my body wont sleep!
So, my husband needed to get in early today so I stayed awake instead of going to bed at 5am. I made the breakfasts, gave the meds, signed the logs, did the dishes, laundry, and other morning chores, and he had breakfast, got dressed and left.
I wish every morning was like this. I do not like him doing the morning routine. It makes me feel...not needed. I am needy. I need to be needed. I am also grouchy (to him, not the kids) so what I really need is for him to leave as soon as possible.
He knows this. We've discussed it several times. It's just not doable for him, I suppose.
In my perfect world he would get up at 5am, go to the gym to get his workout in (so that he doesn't need to do it at night), shower at the gym and head to work from there. I like to be alone in the mornings. I tend to handle the kids with more success, and I also tend to have better days myself when I can ease into my day alone.
So...today I got to play the morning mommy. I got to do everything on my own. I cannot be upset with anyone else when I come home from work but myself because X-Y-Z wasn't done this morning, and I know that it was all done so I am relieved to know that when I get home...I can relax and have nothing to overwhelm me.
So...here's to a great day. It must be so because I got to be the morning mommy today!
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What if you did the morning mommy AND wife thing? What if you took care of him in the morning as part of you taking care of the family routine? Maybe that would help you?
ReplyDeleteHere's what I hear loud and clear in your post: CONTROL.
You know I say this with love, right?
Being the morning mommy isn't just about wanting to feel needed and important. You want to do everything because you don't trust your husband and kids to do it right. You want to know that things are done and the only way to really know that is to do it yourself. I also wonder if you aren't letting your husband do stuff so that you will have something to harp on him about later (not consciously, of course)?
Maybe there is a way to find a routine that is about family together time, about the family working together on a successful morning routine.