To my sons future wife:

I am sure by now you are wondering what pack of wolves raised my dear son. I assure you that I gave it my very best effort. I only asked him 10,000 times during his childhood to please not wipe his hands on his pants as a napkin at the dinner table. I have showed him a million crumbs on the floor to try and visually show him the effects of not eating at the table. I even walked his T-shirt around on the floor giving it a squeaky voice to try and explain why we cannot wear the same shirt and sleep in it for 2 days straight.

No matter how many times I reminded him to brush his teeth, he never seemed to get that it was a natural part of our daily routine for bed and breakfast. I've tried many a hamper, and have decided that his innability to manage to get the clothing onto it surely means he's not cut for the NBA.

I've tried teaching him to groom his hair, but he seems to think bed head is the style to have. No amount of being made fun of seemed to matter when it came to personal hygiene. He doesn't care what other people think. While I find this quality desireable and admirable in a person, it drives me crazy!

I hope seeing that my 3 other children have no problem in these areas will show you that I was not a poor mother. He's just a stubborn learner!

Good Luck to you! I hope you can find a way to teach him not to be a slob!

Love,
Your future Mother in Law

Andrew, now you know why I buy you so much black and navy clothing!