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Thursday, December 9, 2010

Growing pains

I find one of the most challenging aspects of raising pre-teens and teens is watching them grow up, make mistakes, and learn about responsibility the hard way. My pre-teen daughter is in middle school now...well, she's in the 6th grade academy which is actually attached to the middle school...but it's kind of the same thing in my mind.

Gone are the days of classroom parties, bringing in cupcakes on their birthdays, and all of the other little activities that allow parental involvement.

Today is the Winter luncheon at school. It is the only day of the year that parents are asked to come in and have lunch with their students and enjoy a special activity.

I dropped the ball. I didn't remind my daughter. I gave her the Money and she forgot to turn it in. It was in the back of her 5 inch thick binder. When she finally found it her teacher told her it was too late to turn in the money for me to attend the luncheon...or so she says. I have a gut feeling that she lied to me. I have a feeling that she never tried to turn it in, and perhaps just received a reminder yesterday when the school announcements mentioned the luncheon and set off a light bulb in her head.

I really enjoyed this luncheon with my oldest child 2 years ago. I'm sad that I wont have this memory with her. I cannot help but feel responsible for this mishap. Her teacher would say that this is the kids responsibility to remember the money is due. I even feel a slight bit like maybe she didn't want me there...even though I am sure that is probably not the case. She's not usually forgetful, but life has been busy for all of us lately.

So...today is the luncheon and I sit here like a sad momma bear...wishing I was going to the luncheon today. I'm trying to find the motivation to go to work on my day off so I have something to occupy my brain and so I can catch up on some work.

It's hard watching these kids grow up, and even more challenging to watch them learn by natural consequences that their irresponsibility comes with consequences. I was tempted to call the school and ask if I could come and just not eat but I've decided maybe this is a lesson she and I both need to learn. I need to remember that while they are growing up they are still children and do need gentle reminders, and she needs to learn that her responsibilities are valid and important. I hope that she isn't sad when her friends parents are there and I am not.

My oldest and I at his winter luncheon in 2008 :*(


  1. I'll be interested to hear what, if anything, she has to say at the end of the day... when most everyone else has a parent there...

    Sorry, Lety. :(

  2. As it turned out...not many parents came. I'm not surprised because when I went to andrews a few years ago I posted about how sad it was that so few parents came. She didn't mention the luncheon at all this evening. I contemplated asking about it, but she had practive until 4:30, got home at 5, did homework, break for dinner, and homework again until 8, had a shower and fell asleep early. I plan to ask her about it in the morning...depending on which side of the bed she wakes up on. ;) Delicate years Liz...delicate years. Brace yourself! I hope it's a bit less...challenging? for you than it has been in our house!

  3. Another mommy friend told me about the lack of attendance earlier in the day.

  4. Given how challenging Teagan has already been... I'm really not excited to reach those more difficult years! I'm clinging to the hope that she's getting all the drama and angst out now...