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Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Be awake and aware of each moment as it unfolds...

I am compelled by some deep hunger of the soul, driven by a desire that will not leave me alone, to live life to the fullest. I know this does not mean working endlessly, accomplishing the most, or consuming the greatest amount and variety of things and experiences. It means tasting each mouthful, feeling each breath, listening to each song, being awake and aware of each moment as it unfolds.

The Invitation, Oriah Mountain Dreamer

I want to live my life intimately with the world! The above writing is from my most fave book. It speaks to me daily, and I refrence it often. Oriah has taught me that living in the moments can truly enrich your life.

There are those moments that I am still unsure of what to do with. When I overheard that a supposed good friend of mine was telling lies about me and speaking about me in a negative manner, without the confidence to tell me to my face that which she had no problem lying to others about I found myself stuck. I've been stuck in this place ever since.

What do you do with that? This is a moment that I am not sure how to live in. When you are a dedicated friend and support system to someone and they stab you in the back with your own knife, what can you do with that?

Today I found my answer. I already lived in that moment. I already grieved the loss of that friendship. I sat with that pain, and I allowed myself to feel naked in front of the world. It's time to move on.

I will no loger allow this person to have a hold on me. I forgive her and understand that she must be suffering some internal struggle of her own. Perhaps she reflected the attention from her to me with the greatest intention. Perhaps looking at how I am living my life, and trying to live my life caused her great reflection on her own life, and she didn't like what she was forced to see.

I resolve to move on. To know that her problems are no longer my problems. To know that I can take the energy and effort I put into our friendship and give it to someone worthy.

Today is a great day. A weight has been lifted from my shoulders, and I am once again greatful to have The Invitation to reflect upon.

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