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Monday, July 9, 2012

Your Highest Heights

A good friend of mine once asked me if I felt that someone in my life helped me achieve my highest heights". The phrase/question stuck in the back of my mind for nearly a decade. As of late it's found it's way to the forefront and I've put some major focus on reducing the things in my life that don't help me be the best me that I can be. 

I strive to help others achieve their highest heights too. In fact, I think that I may be better at helping others than I am at supporting myself. With that said I have had an increase in friends whom have needed extra love, support, and positive energy lately.

I have a friend facing an unwanted divorce, and another who's only sibling was in an accident and has been hospitalized and has undergone surgery. Friends suffering with illness, and broken hearts. I've had a friend catch her husband having an affair, and the depressing list goes on and on.

One thing that I am really struggling with today is this. I have some friendships that are teetering on dissolution over really minor things in the big game called life. There. I said it. I have friends who are not happy with me right now because I choose to continue to befriend others that they do not like. 

I could say that we are not in high school anymore but that doesn't seem to hit home with those who behave, at times, like a child.

When I call someone my friend it's because I feel that they know me well enough on a personal level to have earned the title of friend. Once you are my friend I will go to the ends of the earth and back to support you in living your best life, in whatever way that may be. I try. I'm not perfect but I always try to help when I can do so without taking too much away from my family. 

Lately I have some friends who seem to be confused about how my actions could be helping them achieve their highest heights. I have some friends who feel like I should be taking sides. I absolutely refuse to do that. I've said it before...if you ask me to or expect me to take sides you have already made the decision for me. 

When I do not agree with your actions I will do my best to respect your right to do what is best for you. Do not expect me to always agree with you, or light a torch and jump in line behind your bandwagon. Expect me to be a good enough friend to be honest with you. If you don't want to hear my honest opinion about your actions I suggest and request that you do not ask me.

My "job" as your friend is to support you. It is not to engage in petty cat fights with you. It is not to condone your behaving like a child. It is not to condemn someone else for being a bitch to you. It is not to fill your ears with lies. If I lie to you then I am doing you a great disservice, and you will experience NO growth from that. 

So, if you expect me to jump on anyone's "team" simply because I am their friend then you don't really know me that well. I'm not in a clique. I don't have a crew. If you ask me I think that I'm the most uncool mother up in this place. I have too much life to live to be sucked into every messy situation that comes up.

I'm not a leader. I'm not a follower. I'm just a girl who is trying to live her life with love and light while I lift those around me up whenever I can. 

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